What to Say When Your Child Questions Santa at School
By Justine Firth, founder of Still Counts
When a child comes home repeating something a classmate has said about Santa, try not to rush towards confirming or denying it.
Start by asking what they think.
School is often where questions about Santa begin to change. Children compare stories, notice that families do things differently and hear ideas they may not have considered before.
Nothing has gone wrong. They are simply working out how what they have heard fits with what they already understand.
When your child tells you what someone said, they may not be asking for a full explanation. They may be looking for reassurance, testing your reaction or trying to make sense of two different versions of the same tradition.
You might begin with:
What did they say?
Then ask:
What do you think about that?
Their answer will often tell you how much they want to know.
Some children want reassurance that the magic can still hold. Others are beginning to notice details that no longer quite fit. There is no need to give more of an answer than they are ready to hear.
If your child says, “My friend said you buy the presents”, you might ask:
“What did you think when they said that?”
If they want a direct answer, you could say:
“Yes, we buy the presents and put them out for you. Santa is a Christmas story we’ve enjoyed together. I know hearing something different at school might have been confusing.”
Adapt the words to your family. Give your child room to respond without asking them to defend the story or agree with their friend.
If they feel embarrassed about believing, you might add:
“You weren’t silly for believing. We helped make that story feel real. You can still enjoy Christmas and all the things we love doing together.”
There is no need to defend Santa or prove that the other child was wrong.
This is a chance to help your child understand that families experience traditions differently and that their own questions are always welcome.
If the conversation started at home, read our advice on what to say when an older sibling tells a younger one about Santa, including words for speaking with both children.
About the author
Justine Firth is a mother of two and the founder of Still Counts, an Australian brand creating thoughtful conversation tools for families. She created The Big Questions: Santa to help grown-ups find words for the curious questions children ask while enjoying the Santa story together.
Questions grown-ups often ask
When the questions
begin to change
It is not always easy to tell whether a child is simply curious or beginning to understand Santa differently.
The Santa Conversation Guide helps you recognise what may sit behind the question and find words that feel right for your child, your family and the moment.
RECEIVE THE GUIDE