What to Say When an Older Sibling Tells a Younger One About Santa

By Justine Firth, founder of Still Counts

When an older child tells a younger sibling something about Santa before you were expecting it, try not to react with blame or alarm.

Start with the younger child.

Ask what they heard and what they think it means. Their answer will help you understand whether they are upset, confused, curious or simply repeating what was said.

You might ask:

What did they say?

Then:

What do you think about that?

If your younger child feels upset, you might say:

“That wasn’t how you expected to hear about Santa. Do you want to tell me what you’re thinking?”

If they ask directly whether their sibling is right and want a clear answer, you could say:

“Yes, Santa is a Christmas character and we’ve been putting out the presents. We’ve loved making those surprises for you. It’s okay to have questions or feel disappointed.”

Adapt the words to your family and let your child respond. They don’t have to feel better immediately or decide straight away how they want to celebrate next Christmas.

Then speak with the older child privately.

Often these moments are not malicious. The comment may have slipped out during an argument, been shared with excitement or come from an older child who no longer remembers how important the belief once felt to them.

Rather than treating it as something to punish, help them understand the impact their words may have had.

You might say:

I know you understand Santa differently now. Your younger sibling is still working it out and I would like us to let them ask their own questions when they are ready.

This does not mean asking the older child to lie or take back what they said.

It means helping them understand that children can be at different stages and that there is kindness in allowing someone else to reach their own understanding in their own time.

An older child may enjoy becoming part of the tradition in a new way, perhaps by helping choose a gift, writing a note or creating a little Christmas magic for their sibling.

That can turn the moment from something they are in trouble for into a new role they can feel proud of.

About the author

Justine Firth is a mother of two and the founder of Still Counts, an Australian brand creating thoughtful conversation tools for families. She created The Big Questions: Santa to help grown-ups find words for the curious questions children ask while enjoying the Santa story together.